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Honoring Your Rhythms: Why Living Life Away from "Perfect" Is the Fastest Path to Growth & Healing

May 08, 2021

It is not always summer. You don’t always have to be “perfect”. You should, however, know your rhythms, and honor them - extensively.

I recorded a podcast today - an episode of the Divine Feminine CEO. 

And to be frank, I felt low energy. 

I was on the 3rd day of my period (when I typically feel tired). And at first, I fought the “waning” energy. 

The week before I’d recorded 8 episodes! Why couldn’t I do that today? 

Why can’t I always have....the perfect week?

Well, my love. You already know this...but perfect isn’t “natural”. At least, not all the time :)

What is your “perfect”?

If we lived life by Insta-standards, “perfect” would look like:

  • The body we create after 12 weeks of working out
  • A totally clean house
  • Rich, fulfilling friendships
  • Romance in spades
  • Promotions at work / huge launches in your business

And this all sounds great. I mean, who doesn’t want a “perfectly” clean house, bod and marriage, all the time?

Some of it may even be true. Some of the time.

The rest of the time?

Life looks a little bit different. 

And that’s OK.

In fact, it’s more than ok - it’s actually normal.

Natural. 

In line with how our planet - and nature - works.

The Dangers of Living for “Perfect”

Sometimes, we will have “perfect”. Ideal.  

For example…

  • A full garden in summer
  • A beautiful face (for women who cycle, this is typically best around ovulation, when estrogen levels actually make our faces look more symmetrical and our skin brighter)
  • Honey in the bee hive 
  • A big career success (promotion, big launch) 

But here’s the reality.

 That garden? Was planted when the earth looked barren, and took months to grow.

The beautiful, symmetrical face? Looks dull 2 weeks later when menstruation hits.  

The honey? Is only created when the weather is warm. It doesn’t flow the rest of the year.

And that big career success? Probably happened after months of prep / planning

Honey...there’s nothing wrong with this.

It’s natural!

Because it can’t always be summer.

The danger arises when we start to live our lives for the perfect moments. When we begin to measure our worth - and our success - by the “pinnacle”. 

Because when we hyper-focus on the “ideal”, we miss all the gifts, and lessons, of the “winter”.

Honor the Beauty of Winter, and Reap It’s Hidden Rewards

Consider the winter. The fields are fallow, the earth looks a little barren.

It’s not - objectively - as “pretty” as spring, or “bountiful” as summer.

It forces us to stay inside, and go inward. 

Because when life feels a little more scarce, we realize….we have to find abundance within.

In fact, here’s the real kicker…

If we don’t feel abundant inside, we don’t feel abundant on the outside either - even when our “exterior” looks “perfect”. 

So the purpose of winter?

Is to do the deep, inner, transformative work required to really receive abundance when the time is right.

To do it gracefully, with joy. And without fear of the “scarcity” that may follow.

This is the natural ebb and flow of life, and of the seasons.

I had a mentor tell me recently: “Embrace what is arising - in the moment. Can you be the lover of THAT?”

Can you love what’s arising for you now? Even if it’s uncomfortable, sad or a little scary?

What hidden gifts of discovery life in wait if you do?

When the benchmark of our life is summer, we miss the beauty of winter. 

We get lost in the comparison game - always comparing today’s “less than” to that one moment we attained “perfect” - that day we had the perfect body, created something amazing for work, or had a perfect lunch with friends.

The danger of waiting for perfect, is that we start to expect that “perfect” is “normal”. And when it’s very naturally not, we face disappointment.

And we miss the gifts that are hiding, just beneath our nose.

“Winter” is for Healing

 Lately, my “winter” has been showing up in lots of forms. 

As you may know, I’m deep into a sabbatical from The Uncorporette, and I’m uncovering many hidden gifts in the process.

Some of them are emerging around healing - specifically from the trauma of losing my daughter in her second trimester, and some that goes back even farther.

My instinct, as a Type-A overachiever?

Is to compare my “today” to what success looked like a year ago for me. Abundant business growing with ease, a “perfect” strong body, and a strong sense of who I was.

Today? My business is on hiatus, my body is still recovering, and who I am is changing substantially.

Here’s how we lean into “winter” to reap it’s gifts:

  1. Mindfulness: Pay attention to what comes up for you. What is emerging during your “winter”? How do you feel? Is it uncomfortable? Is there judgment arising? Whatever it is, that’s ok.
  2. Inquiry: Connect to what’s emerging, and be curious with it. What is this feeling? How long has it been there? What emotions does it bring up? And what healing does it ask for?
  3. Grace: Give yourself the grace - and the space - to really work with what’s emerging. Be gentle, lower your expectations a bit, and be open to the surprise & delight that comes with self-discovery and healing.

Xo,

R

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